The texting compromise


Researchers at Pace University in New York City asked people how often and for what reasons they text their significant others.

They found that couples were happiest when both halves reached out to each other for the same reasons—to show affection, just to say hi, or even to work through problems they don’t want to discuss in person—compared to couples whose texting habits were out of sync.


Texting is an important aspect of relationship satisfaction, says study co-author Leora Trub, Ph.D., head of the Digital Media and Psychology Lab at Pace. If over time you notice your partner writes less frequently or brings up issues over text that you’d rather talk about face to face, “that can eat away at happiness, regardless of what your relationship is like when you’re together."


People choose the communication style that works best for them, Trub points out, so you won’t solve the problem by giving up your texting habits to mirror your partner’s. If anything about your texting conversations bothers you, bring it up without getting defensive so you can find a happy medium. “That’s where relationship satisfaction comes in,” Trub says.